First, be real with yourself

Dating your friends ex-wife

Accordingly, you should treat this like any other important decision, which is to say that you should get as much information as possible. Of course, that's going to hurt. Approach these questions with the maximum possible skepticism about yourself. Tom found out, and he never forgave me. Now, if you're sure that this is not you, that this is Real Love you're looking at, then what you have to do is tell your friend what's up.

Inherently, it's a selfish thing. It's possible that you've got an uncommon romance on your hands.

Enjoy the moment with

Like I said, this is a tough one. You're not married anymore. The Dating Nerd is a shadowy figure whose whereabouts and identifying details remain unknown. If you were too clingy, face your trust issues and allow her to have her space. And I think she wants to take it to the next level, too.

You get a new life so you don't spend all your time sitting around and crying about your old one like the baby you are. Your emotional health is of utmost importance. What we do know is that he is really, really good at dating.

If what you and your ex-wife tried in the past had worked she wouldn't be your ex. There's no two ways about it. If you were too aloof make an honest attempt to find interest in her work or hobbies and look her in the eye when she shares her thoughts with you. If the relationship leaves you feeling drained, depressed or resentful you may want to consider that it isn't the best idea to try again. Because, again, you're declaring to an old friend that you're prepared to disregard his feelings.

Be sure to be appreciative for his time and willingness to hear you out. Approach the relationship from a different angle this time. Ask yourself what you want for your personal future and go forward. If I were a betting man, I'd bet that your crush on this girl is just like any other crush.

Enjoy the moment with your ex-wife. But it's largely a matter of compartmentalizing. Such a situation, of course, can be tricky, and must be handled with care. You get a new and even prettier girlfriend, or hang out with your friends more, or get into jiu jitsu or knitting.

This is a fresh chance for the two of you. If you feel fluttery every time you talk to a pretty girl, keep that in mind. There is no rush, no obligation to make it something it's not, and no pressure to perform in old ways or according to old precepts. Maybe this is your future wife, or muse, or whatever it is that you're looking for. It's easy, because of your history, to jump to conclusions or have preconceived notions of what her motives are or what she's thinking.

And dwell on the fact that some of your excitement might just come from the taboo nature of this potential relationship, because, like everyone else, you want what's off-limits. Observe her with new eyes. Tell your friend about your intentions, and ask him if there's any way you can make the process easier for him.

However, how you ask will make all the difference. But sometimes, you have to do inadvisable things for love. Over the last couple of weeks, I've been hanging out with a close friend's ex-girlfriend, platonically, after we ran into each other at Starbucks. This conversation will not go well.

But it's largely a matter of