Dating fundamentally flawed
Whatever method you use, find that person. Or whatever you want to call it. High accountability chaperones, monitored correspondence, etc.
They are all either a long list of rules, or a rejection of rules, or a picking and choosing of the rules. They get tempted by something they never thought they'd struggle with. There is no mechanism for marriage that prevents selfishness and adultery and anger and bitterness.
Our methods for finding each other were fundamentally flawed. To me, finding true love starts from the inside-out, not from the outside-in. Unfortunately, the full truth is that people change. Susan Macias The night we got engaged. And it put me in some places where I could have gotten myself in some serious trouble.
The specific rules vary from community to community. Wish I could take credit for it. They both obstinately held to the position that courtship was a foolish idea.
They are here to shape us, teach us, refine us, and challenge us. He wasn't clear on that point. Umstattd had the courage to talk about such an important subject, and to do it in such a graceful and honest way. Rules about physical contact and purity. Their attitudes toward love and marriage and their everyday actions did.
And if your attempts at dating and courtship don't include that attitude and that determination, no method will bring you a happily ever after. It was hard, but we chose to love each other, anyway. So I became a fan of the courtship model. The purpose of the courtship is marriage High relational intentionality and intensity High parental involvement. Lots with broken relationships.
It's those people who fail to date long enough or don't live with each other or court with a chaperon who set up their marriages for disaster. Then couples who did get married through courtship started getting divorced. Like, I became best friends my boyfriend without even knowing he liked me. That's the beauty of love. Arranged marriages are flawed too.
That's the only thing that matters. They get new opportunities and meet new people and hear new ideas that can radically shape the person you once knew into someone you don't even like. This could not be further from the truth.
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